I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
