He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
