So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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