I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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