I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Do vagina's smell?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
