Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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