Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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