Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
