wat bout pragnant strippers??
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
