how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
