whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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