We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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