I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
