I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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