I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
