I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug