Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!

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  (760): ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!! http://tfl.nu/73h7
  Replies (68) Good night (1486) Bad night (491)
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  (718): View more from New York

  i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite

  (917): View more from New York City

  get a pic

  (718): View more from New York

  i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that

  (917): View more from New York City

  i want ur life

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  (718): i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite (917): get a pic (718): i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that (917): i want ur life http://tfl.nu/sg3n
  Replies (25) Good night (2500) Bad night (443)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.

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  (502): he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel. http://tfl.nu/c4zc
  Replies (42) Good night (1503) Bad night (4823)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina

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  (201): I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina http://tfl.nu/v35k
  Replies (22) Good night (1406) Bad night (3911)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.

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  (712): He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him. http://tfl.nu/xqld
  Replies (30) Good night (5675) Bad night (1902)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?

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  (917): I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really? http://tfl.nu/2oxm
  Replies (15) Good night (1011) Bad night (4920)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  We left an ass print on the piano.

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  (518): We left an ass print on the piano. http://tfl.nu/qaoo
  Replies (23) Good night (3907) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself

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  (303): I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself http://tfl.nu/q2o1
  Replies (3) Good night (1275) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.

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  (402): Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord. http://tfl.nu/2tip
  Replies (9) Good night (384) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.

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  (202): I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning. http://tfl.nu/sdft
  Replies (3) Good night (1029) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Promise me you won't have sex in my room

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.

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  (954): Promise me you won't have sex in my room (248): I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try (248): Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge. http://tfl.nu/lf7v
  Replies (2) Good night (1255) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.

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  (301): I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had. http://tfl.nu/epuv
  Replies (5) Good night (902) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.

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  (951): Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con. http://tfl.nu/1v01
  Replies (4) Good night (927) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?

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  (309): They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one? http://tfl.nu/f8nv
  Replies (6) Good night (312) Bad night (231)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.

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  (703): I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me. http://tfl.nu/1fay
  Replies (2) Good night (589) Bad night (256)

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