Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!

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  (416): Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro! http://tfl.nu/k0oj
  Replies (86) Good night (943) Bad night (4894)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.

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  (352): So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated. http://tfl.nu/ef34
  Replies (12) Good night (3101) Bad night (636)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.

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  (636): I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila. http://tfl.nu/ecf3
  Replies (15) Good night (5054) Bad night (800)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."

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  (571): We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants." http://tfl.nu/wjgr
  Replies (16) Good night (906) Bad night (3563)
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  (943): View more from

  You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka

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  (943): You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka http://tfl.nu/wlgo
  Replies (10) Good night (5466) Bad night (875)
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  (518): View more from New York

  bad decision saturdays are such a good decision

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  (518): bad decision saturdays are such a good decision http://tfl.nu/ffui
  Replies (3) Good night (3655) Bad night (919)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.

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  (780): I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/raiw
  Replies (9) Good night (2392) Bad night (1354)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.

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  (519): Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club. http://tfl.nu/af62
  Replies (5) Good night (3096) Bad night (1305)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.

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  (901): I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan. http://tfl.nu/ohh7
  Replies (3) Good night (1810) Bad night (883)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack

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  (217): I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack http://tfl.nu/dmpk
  Replies (6) Good night (961) Bad night (2367)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help

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  (314): shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help http://tfl.nu/q76e
  Replies (6) Good night (1614) Bad night (622)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.

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  (256): I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though. http://tfl.nu/tmsk
  Replies (1) Good night (818) Bad night (378)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship

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  (403): She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship http://tfl.nu/44te
  Replies (6) Good night (1581) Bad night (325)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...

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  (647): Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but... http://tfl.nu/6fcg
  Replies (0) Good night (449) Bad night (274)
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  (916): View more from California

  I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...

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  (916): I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart... http://tfl.nu/pfn5
  Replies (2) Good night (409) Bad night (339)

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