Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
