make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.