remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
