Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?

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(405): Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period? http://tfl.nu/qune

Replies (37) Good night (491) Bad night (997)
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(917): View more from New York City

All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...

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(917): All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus... http://tfl.nu/bdby

Replies (8) Good night (1040) Bad night (1438)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.

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(614): I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts. http://tfl.nu/c8t0

Replies (36) Good night (854) Bad night (2937)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Sorry, I don't speak sober.

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(613): Sorry, I don't speak sober. http://tfl.nu/dwuu

Replies (8) Good night (4142) Bad night (595)
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(440): View more from Ohio

that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...

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(440): that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water... http://tfl.nu/dw5a

Replies (12) Good night (631) Bad night (4121)
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(305): View more from Florida

If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?

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(305): If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet? http://tfl.nu/k73j

Replies (22) Good night (1638) Bad night (4839)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.

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(504): Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself. http://tfl.nu/n9ey

Replies (9) Good night (1011) Bad night (2811)
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(720): View more from Colorado

He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.

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(720): He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim. http://tfl.nu/2u9p

Replies (8) Good night (3541) Bad night (1205)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.

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(970): I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently. http://tfl.nu/qjfh

Replies (2) Good night (2529) Bad night (750)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..

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(843): Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming.. http://tfl.nu/kfd5

Replies (49) Good night (2896) Bad night (5076)
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(818): View more from California

Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.

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(818): Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college. http://tfl.nu/wt8u

Replies (8) Good night (1303) Bad night (520)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours

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(503): I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours http://tfl.nu/g0b7

Replies (4) Good night (569) Bad night (1066)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.

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(405): Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man. http://tfl.nu/rjwi

Replies (2) Good night (476) Bad night (282)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.

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(617): she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon. http://tfl.nu/r3ld

Replies (13) Good night (308) Bad night (1330)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"

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(775): I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!" http://tfl.nu/w4fg

Replies (0) Good night (735) Bad night (145)

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