Texts From Last Night

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  (912): View more from Georgia

  So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.

  (1-912): View more from Georgia

  Who leaves their car unlocked at night?

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Someone who wants to read the newspaper.

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  (912): So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper. (1-912): Who leaves their car unlocked at night? (912): Someone who wants to read the newspaper. http://tfl.nu/c19o
  Replies (23) Good night (7130) Bad night (769)
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  (516): View more from New York

  she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".

  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.

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  (516): she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag". (917): I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag. http://tfl.nu/7xie
  Replies (57) Good night (1401) Bad night (11477)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!

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  (336): I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo! http://tfl.nu/ejnx
  Replies (14) Good night (3933) Bad night (658)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?

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  (301): why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher? http://tfl.nu/k3ff
  Replies (18) Good night (4226) Bad night (630)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.

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  (973): when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this. http://tfl.nu/c6uc
  Replies (17) Good night (1567) Bad night (4558)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."

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  (904): I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear." http://tfl.nu/t3d7
  Replies (4) Good night (4025) Bad night (1271)
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  (925): View more from California

  Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.

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  (925): Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here. http://tfl.nu/dbsi
  Replies (9) Good night (3603) Bad night (1023)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head

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  (604): it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head http://tfl.nu/xa8x
  Replies (38) Good night (5147) Bad night (1522)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose

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  (305): what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose http://tfl.nu/99kl
  Replies (9) Good night (1455) Bad night (4052)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?

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  (989): is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off? http://tfl.nu/j7cy
  Replies (15) Good night (4736) Bad night (1139)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.

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  (937): i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage. http://tfl.nu/bqw6
  Replies (22) Good night (1973) Bad night (8629)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand

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  (678): Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand http://tfl.nu/u3cn
  Replies (5) Good night (912) Bad night (2388)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.

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  (503): He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis. http://tfl.nu/tjtk
  Replies (4) Good night (1298) Bad night (1919)
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  (310): View more from California

  Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself

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  (310): Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself http://tfl.nu/e5tp
  Replies (3) Good night (1421) Bad night (542)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them

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  (651): It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them http://tfl.nu/2gqy
  Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (374)

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