Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
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I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
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If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites