Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
