What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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