that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
