I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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