I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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