where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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