That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
