Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
