quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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