it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
