I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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