I can tuck mytits in my pants
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
