My room smells like vodka and shame
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
