Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
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He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
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Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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