I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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