I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
