I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
