am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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