She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
