I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
