I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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