Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
