She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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