some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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