I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
