Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
