I just pynch a tree in the face
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
