Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
