You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
