I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
