yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
