we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
