I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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