tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
