Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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