shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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