it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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