Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
