thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
