I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
