I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
