Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
