That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
