Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
