Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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