yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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