he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
