i jhust puked up my retainher.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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