It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
