God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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