I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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